On May 26, 2013, at 41 weeks and 1 day, I was quite used to frequent Braxton Hicks that never progressed. They were never painful, just a weird tightening sensation. The night before I had woken up a couple of times with pressure waves, but again, never painful, and I went right back to sleep afterwards.
When I woke up that morning, the day started out like any other day; I puttered around the house, feeling the pressure waves, but they never really HURT and I had been fooled several times before. I just stayed busy, thinking that the waves would just fade away again.
In the weeks leading up to my guess date, I had been listening to Hypnobabies religiously. So, on that day, when the pressure waves started to feel a little stronger I said, “release” and the discomfort magically faded right away. Right before 11AM I realized that the waves were enough to command all my attention. And then right at 11, I heard my phone ringing – it was my parents; I remembered oh yeah! I have lunch plans with them! But by that time the contractions were coming so fast I was unable to answer the phone! That’s when I realized – uh oh.
I kept using my hypnosis techniques to keep calm and I was able to work through each pressure wave like a champ. But I knew I needed somebody there with me. I focused all my energy and managed to call my Birth Partners, Judy and Anna and let them know, “The time is NOW!”
Suddenly, my birthing partners magically appeared, as did FOUR midwives from Allen Birthing Center! Xavy and I had a whole team there for us! I was already dilated 8 centimeters, and baby Xavy was well on his way, and he wanted to be born at home!
I wish I could say that I calmly handled the entire birth the way I imagined I would. I was just so sure I would be completely Zen the whole way through. But as Xavy started crowning, I panicked and faltered in my resolve. But through it all, I felt loved. My support team and midwives patiently guided me through, helping me find the strength to really push, push, push, PUSH Xavy out!
Next thing I know, Xavy was finally in my arms, beautiful and perfect. And BIG! 10# 12oz, and 23 inches long!
I feel so much appreciation for Allen Birthing Center, for being flexible and coming to my house – guiding me through and helping me fulfill my dream of a totally natural birth.
I do feel that it’s important to note that this was the most difficult battle my heart has ever had to face and I was confronted with every ugly insecurity and fear. And as I rose to the challenge, and kept fighting past all that darkness, there was a visceral alchemical alteration in my psyche. I had found my inner strength. And when my beautiful baby boy finally victoriously emerged, also so did a calmly assured Mother Goddess., Fierce and Primal; and our bond is an invincible shimmering force field. I know it sounds so corny, and it IS corny! It’s corny and humorous and vibrantly REAL.